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Motivation to better your physique or your mind can come from withinā¦or the outside. Something or somebody is pushing us to improve the way we look or feel – and pinpointing that driving factor can help us focus so we can reach our goals even FASTER! So⦠why do we train? Letās get into thisā¦
āWhy do we train?ā
Itās a question that Iām sure has been asked MILLIONS of timesā¦
And probably answered with MILLIONS of different responses.
āI train to get bigger.ā
āI train to be healthy.ā
āUmmm⦠I just like the way it feels.ā
Yeahā¦
But thatās not what I mean when I ask that question.
Youāve got to go DEEPER.
Though, for some reason – most people just stay on the surface.
Maybe because their reason for training is too personalā¦
That if they truly revealed the reason they trained for hours at a time – theyād be giving somebody some insight into their ābrokennessā.
Well, Iāve got news for youā¦
Weāre all ābrokenā.
Thereās no perfectly whole personā¦
Sure, there are levels of brokenness or wholeness – but nobody is 100% one way or the other – and revealing the reasoning behind your training addiction can be freeing in a way.
Even more, it could help somebody understand their OWN reason for putting their body through hellā¦
And isnāt that why weāre all here?
To learnā¦
And to help if we can?
So, Iāll start the ball rollingā¦
And maybe – it will give somebody else the courage to share their reasoning on social media – and pay it forward.
So⦠why do I train?
Well, thinking back – I think my obsession with training started because I was always a pretty plump kidā¦
And was told so by enough people that it became ingrained into who I was.
But that wasnāt my ONLY issueā¦
Because the reason I was so plump has a much darker story.
My ex-step-father came into my life when I was 5-years-old – and thatās when the trajectory of my life truly changed.
I was always a happy, talkative kid WITHOUT a weight problem before he married my motherā¦
He was nice to me – bought me toys – took me and my mother to the movies – all while hiding his TRUE self.
After he married my mother – thatās when he truly revealed who he wasā¦
A bully to those who were powerless.
The mental abuse happened almost immediatelyā¦
Making fun of me⦠making fun of the fact that I didnāt have my father in my lifeā¦
And that was quickly followed by the physical abuse.
I accidentally burp at the table – I got beatā¦
If my room wasnāt immaculate – I got beatā¦
If I didnāt wash my hands correctly – I got beat.
It didnāt take long before the happy, talkative kid became a quiet and melancholy loner in the house – and thatās when I started packing on the pounds.
I began eating to make myself feel betterā¦
Or maybe because it felt like I had control of something or maybe just to add some padding so the beatings didnāt hurt as bad – I donāt knowā¦
But he would yell – heād beat me – and then Iād go eat something.
That was the way things went for the next 10 years.
Now, most people ask me about why my mother didnāt stop itā¦
And her and I have had MANY conversations about it – and she says she never saw it.
She thought he was just jokingā¦
But she was never there for when he would beat the crap out of me for touching his tools without permission or drinking the last of the iced tea.
Thatās how it went for the next 10 years – until I got too big for him to bully.
I had started weight lifting when I got to high school – and was blessed with the kind of genetics that made it easy for me to get bigger and stronger.
After I became too big and too strong for him to bullyā¦
The physical abuse stopped – but the mental abuse continued – however, I knew that he couldnāt do anything physically to me any more so our relationship just became contentious.
One day when I was 16 – we were yelling at each other across the house and my mother screamed, āThatās ENOUGH! If youāre going to be at each otherās throats – go outside and fight!ā
So, thatās what we didā¦
We put on the boxing gloves that we had – and I bet the ever-loving shit out of him.
He had to stop – and screamed at me from across the yard, āIām going to break your kneecaps with a baseball bat in the middle of the night!ā
And he would have tooā¦
So, I went to my grandparents till that all blew over.
After thatā¦
Heād take little digs and make little comments – but after that day – he was powerless.
Soā¦
Why do I train?
Because I donāt want to feel as powerless as I did when I was a child.
I bet thatās not what you were expectingā¦
And to be honest – when I sat down to write this blog – I had a completely different subject in mind.
But something I read last night has stuck with meā¦
And it inspired me to write this.
What was it?
I was scrolling through social media and came across a post on one of the inspirational pages I followā¦
It was a picture of a Greek sculpture of a warrior and it said, āThe person you are today is the person that you wanted to protect you when you were a child.ā
That hit me pretty hardā¦
Because here I am: a 290 pound black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu – with a calm and kind demeanor – with a low tolerance for bullies.
I built myself into the protector I neededā¦
And that was not something I expected – but I can see now thatās what my reality is.
Everything Iāve done over the past 35 years has been to build the perfect foil to my former step-father (my mother got smart about 20 years ago and dumped him).
Each time I step foot in the gym – I get a little angryā¦
And never truly knew why.
Now I know that itās probably because I know I started this journey out of necessity – not out of a want to.
That being saidā¦
I also know Iāll NEVER stop.
Feeling powerless is – pardon the pun – a powerful motivator.
Sure, I have combat skills that 99.999% of the worldās population will never haveā¦
But having the size and strength to go with it helps me feel more comfortable.
Whenever Iāve taken time away from the gymā¦
I feel it.
And I donāt mean just getting weaker and softerā¦
I can feel that uncomfortable feeling of powerlessness that makes me feel like a target – which is something Iāll NEVER be again.
Soā¦
Thatās my story.
Are you ready to face yours?
Have you ever asked yourself WHY you train?
Do you know why you put your body through grueling workouts over and over again?
Can you unveil your hidden motivation?
Because understanding this may help you breakthrough any sticking points you may come toā¦
And ultimately lead to a better you.
Orā¦
Maybe you just needed a self-therapy session like this with an audience of people you donāt know? š¤£šš¤£
Either way – itās worth it.
Until next timeā¦
āThe most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.ā – Alice Walker
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